Nothing Gold Can Stay
by the secret goldfish
Summary: during the dark tournement, Hiei realizes his feelings for Kurama but isn't willing to admit them. Kurama, feeling that Hiei isn't interested flees to Yusuke's arms. yaoi! KxY, KxH, and KxMysterious stranger. is it love, or just sex?
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

"What is wrong with me?" Hiei asked himself as he stared into Kurama's room through a small gap left by the agar door. Kurama was inside, preparing for his shower. The water was already on, and Hiei was hopeful it would cover up any noise he may make outside the door. Hiei was fighting within himself – half longing to watch his friend, half longing to walk away and scrub himself. "Damn it! Shit! …I used to think I had things straight …" Hiei thought "… I used to think _I_ was straight …. But now – I – can't stop thinking about _Kurama_! So, does that make me bi? … or – or GAY?" Hiei was now unknowingly almost screaming at himself. Accusing the right hand of what the left was afraid to admit. "No it can't be!" He had begun to sweat a little. He put his hand to his forehead and turned away. "DAMN IT! It's the Dark Tournament and I can't concentrate on the fights …" Hiei turned back to look into the room.

"Only on …"

His eyes searched the room

"…only on …"

Hiei's eyes opened and he drew in a breath as Kurama entered the room. Kurama began to pull his shirt over his head. He revealed his gorgeous chest, unaware of his Peeping Tom. Hiei's eyes were wide as he traced every curve of Kurama's perfect stomach, watching his muscles move as he removed his shirt and gently tossed it on the bed. Kurama soon began to reach down and Hiei watched as though in slow motion as Kurama slowly undid the button on his pants. Hiei's eyes took in the whole scene with intense curiosity and desire. His tongue subconsciously trailed itself along his lips. He emitted a low, almost silent moan that seemed to snap him out of his trance. He whirled around, his back slightly leaning on the door. He jammed his eyes shut and wiped away the sweat and drool with his sleeve. His fists were clenched so tight they had begun to shake.

"Damn it! What the fuck! Am I really gay! Do I really want to watch this? I -"

Suddenly the door he was using to support himself gave way "– oh crap -" and Hiei found himself on his back with Kurama looming over him. Hiei gazed up at his love interest who stood above him in an almost dangerously low bath towel and a sly accusing look on his face. His hand was on the door. Kurama bent over so that he and Hiei could stare directly into each others eyes. Kurama narrowed his eyes and said in a cool, suggestive voice,

"If you wanted to see, Hiei," he raised his eyebrows and opened one eye "…you should have just asked …" Kurama gave Hiei a wink.

Hiei shot up like a bullet.

"You're a sick bastard!"

Kurama's mind began to trail off as he thought that Hiei's big mouth would be useful later. A small smile sprouted on Kurama's face as Hiei went on.

"Listen fag, we might need you for the dark tournament but if you come on to me again, I'll kick you ass!"

Kurama's mind was still far from clean: "_Kick _my ass? I don't know about 'kick' but you'll be doing something else to my a-"

Hiei emitted a high squeal of disgust and Kurama's eyes widened in shock.

"SHIT! I didn't mean to say that out loud … !"

"- Crap I did" Kurama though to himself.

"FUCK YOU SHUICHI!" Hiei screamed as he gave Kurama the middle finger.

Hiei stormed out, still sweating a little. As he walked away, Kurama shouted after him "Actually Hiei, I'd rather fuck you!" Hiei froze and gasped. His voice went up an octave but that wasn't the only thing that went up. After a moment he took to collect himself, Hiei continued down the hall to his room. Kurama shut his door and laughed a little to himself.

"He'll come around." Kurama thought. He chuckled to himself again. He began to resume his little string of dirty jokes he liked to make in his mind.

"… actually I think he already _came_ around! I saw how Hiei got a rise out of his little peep-show! He's right were I want him … well almost … I want him between my legs … ooh …" He bit his bottom lip.

Kurama was standing in his room, examining his thoughts and contemplating past events - and his next move.

"We have all spent a lot of time together, here at the Dark Tournament, all in this hotel. We trust each other, we have placed our lives in each others' hands, we have learned to love each other. We have become deep, intimate friends – sharing our lives and secrets with one another and now I know we wish to share more … we wish to be lovers …"

Kurama made his way into the bathroom and drew the curtain back on the shower, still reminiscing about his 'encounters' with his teammates.

" …I know this to be fact not just because of the this incident with Hiei today, not like today was the first time, but because of such encounters …" Kurama stepped into the shower. "… with Yusuke."

Kurama's mind drifted into a flash-back of a day when he noticed Yusuke out on the balcony of their hotel room. Kurama had drawn back a small part of the window curtain to catch a glimpse of the beautiful day when he caught sight of something more stunning then the day – Yusuke stood leaning on the rail of the balcony with his elbows on the top. He wasn't wearing a shirt; his bare chest glistened in the glowing light of the day as the wind played with his hair. His hands rested gently beside his hips, with the thumb of his left hand delicately pushing his pants lower. Kurama could not help but stare. Yusuke's eyes were closed, enjoying the breeze.

"Yusuke" Kurama muttered softly to himself. Suddenly, one of Yusuke's eyes flashed open – he had heard Kurama.

"He sees me …" Kurama began to worry.

"Kurama -" Yusuke said playfully closing his eyes "You don't seem like the type, that can look …" he opened an eye and put his hands behind his head "and not touch." Yusuke had a cool smile on his face and Kurama returned his playful gaze and drew back from the window.

Kurama was now back to reality, scrubbing up in the shower and laughing softly to himself. Suddenly a voice came out of nowhere. It was a smooth whisper.

"Shuichi" Kurama's eyes flew open in shock. Now Kurama felt a hand on each of his shoulders as the voice came again

"Shuichi…" The owner of the voice was directly behind him pressing hard against him and the foreigner began to kiss Kurama's neck. Kurama found himself unable to move – petrified with fear, shock and confusion. "Shuichi …" the same alien tongue that spoke his name now began to lick him. The stranger's hands were at Kurama's elbows.

"H-h-his hands are moving lower …!" Kurama thought hurriedly. They were at his waist, having traced the curves of his muscular stomach. The fear of being assaulted galvanized Kurama to protect himself. Kurama covered his dick with his hands and the intruder reached lower.

"…don't …!"

Kurama had to hold himself back, trying hard not to moan. He bit his lip almost to the point were it began to bleed when the stranger's hands clasped tightly around his own. Kurama grit his teeth and shook off the strange curse this intruder had over him. Kurama whipped his head around and shouted "WHO - !"

Kurama had turned to see there was no one there.

"WHAT! He's … gone …" Kurama was left too dirty for the shower water to truly cleanse him. He removed his own hands from the area he tired to protect and finally released the moan that he forced down inside while his uninvited guest was there with him. No telling what the foreigner would have done if he found that he was pleasuring Kurama. Kurama stared down disgustedly at his hands. He had cum. Only a little, but it was enough to make him ashamed and longing for revenge. He scrubbed himself again, disappointed that he found such dirty tricks arousing. Kurama turned off the water and grabbed his towel.

"It had to be Hiei!" Kurama said defiantly.

"I think I'll go pay him a visit." Kurama began to smirk.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Back in his room, Hiei too was trying to wash away the result of recent events.

"I feel like I need to scrub myself …. I can't believe that watching Kurama gave me such a serious boner! Damn it!"

Hiei was clenching his fists. He slammed them into the wall of the shower and leaned his head against the wet tile. He closed his eyes.

"Shit …" Hiei mumbled to himself. He pulled back away from the wall and opened his eyes. Water was running down his body but the drops rolling down his cheeks felt different. Was he crying? He didn't know. He stared at the tile and began to gaze deeplyinto himself

"Am I in l-" He stopped himself. "So does that make me … gay?"

He raised his eyebrows and pushed his forehead into the tile again. Hiei turned the knob to shut of the flow of water and reached out for his towel that rested in the sink next to the shower. He couldn't seem to find it. Hiei leaned out to see were it had gone.

"Wha …? Where's my …"

"Ahem."

"…towel!"

Hiei looked up to see where or who that came from.

"Kurama!"

Kurama was leaning against the bathroom door opposite the shower. He was holding a small hand towel as an offering.

"What are you doing here? How could you … Where's my towel!" Hiei screamed trying to cover himself with the shower curtain.

"You can use this." Kurama said slyly reaching out to hand Hiei the tiny 5" x 5" towel.

Hiei was shocked. He began to sweat a little again, both disgusted and aroused. Hiei decided to stick with his primary emotion.

"Can I have a _big_ towel please?" He said grumpily.

"Oh of course! Silly me. This towel is much _too small_ to cover _you_!" Kurama smiled examining the towel.

"And how would you know?" Hiei asked angrily now making more of an attempt to block what Kurama so desperately wanted to see … and what Hiei so desperately wanted to show him.

"Let's just say 'a little birdie told me'." Kurama replied reaching onto the towel rack. He selected a regular sized towel and walked it over to Hiei who was still clutching the curtain for dear life. Hiei swiped it out of Kurama's hand and retorted

"Don't you mean a little _dog_?"

An image of Kurama's fox demon form popped into Kurama's head and he began to chuckle. Hiei replaced to curtain and put on the towel.

"I can't believe you did this …" He grumbled disappointedly.

"Oh Hiei," Kurama began "I could have done _far worse_ –"

Hiei's expression sank. He began to imagine what Kurama could say, picturing his words as both a terrible nightmare and beautiful dream.

"I could have looked in on you … or joined you…"

Hiei pictured Kurama licking his ear in the shower asthey stood naked beside each other. He had to get rid of Kurama. Hiei had to make Kurama realize that, although Hiei was interested, he…couldn't.

"Yea, but … this … is just a step up from those things and they are the worst you could do …" Hiei was looking Kurama squarely in the eye. He was doing very well in trying to put Kurama off, but not well enough.

"The _worst_? Are you sure? …" Kurama then lifted his index finger and put it in his mouth. He closed his eyes and began to suck it. He made little noises – just to make it better. Hiei was dumbfounded. His eyes were wide and his pupils were small with terror.

"How could he know … just what I wanted?" Hiei thought, but he would never share that out loud. Especially with Kurama. Never. Kurama must never know.

"Oh yea – that's far worse." Hiei said out loud in shock. Kurama had taken his finger out of his mouth and put his hands in his pockets. He looked up at Hiei through his thick, beautiful red hair. He looked almost demonic, satanic even. Hiei was so aroused and Kurama felt it.

"I'll let you get some clothes on …" Kurama said turning.

"... not that it'll matter later"he thought.

"Pleasant _dreams_ Hiei," he said, opening the bathroom door to leave "S_ee you there!_" Kurama added licking his top lip and shooting Hiei an intense glance. He walked out.

Hiei stood stiff as a board; his mouth was wide open but it felt like he couldn't breathe. He just stood there – it would take him hours to sort out the events that just occurred, andhow he felt about them.


	3. Chapter 3 Weakness

okay - i just wanted to make sure all you guys out there know this is a yaoi and i think it can be considered pretty explicit. from this chapter on, it won't just be sex scenes, but the pairings coming up are Kurama x Yusuke, Kurama x Hiei, and Kurama x a Mysterious Stranger who could be either of Kurama's two other partners in this story or a new character all together! so keep checking in to find out who it is ... also, just to make sure you all know, Yusuke is a Spirit Detective and his last name in Urameshi. i refer to him as both of those, besides Yusuke, in the story. and Kurama is a rose demon and his human name is Shuichi. i know Shuichi is spelled all sorts of different ways but that's how i've spelled it. i am open to any sugestions! thanks for reading!

**CHAPTER 3 -** **_Weakness _**

Kurama paused outside Hiei's bedroom door, thinking.

"If Hiei was in the shower and sincere about disliking my passes at him … who … could it be …" Kurama rolled over all the information in his mind for a moment and started to laugh.

"Yusuke!" He cried.

"You call me, Kurama?" Kurama almost jumped out of his skin. Yusuke was in the kitchen and had heard Kurama say his name. Kurama composed himself and went out to talk to Yusuke. Yusuke was in the kitchen rummaging through the refrigerator. Kurama now realized that it was getting pretty late - the clock in the kitchen read 10: 53 p.m.

"Oh, hello, Yusuke. What are you doing? You need your rest – you have to train tomorrow." Kurama said purely out of friendly concern.

"Fuck that!" Yusuke retorted and began again to search the refrigerator.

"… I intend to …" Kurama thought to himself as he stared at Yusuke's ass that was bobbing as he continued in his search bent over.

"None of these third rate demons stand a chance against me!" Yusuke said straightening up. He slammed the refrigerator door. Yusuke had taken something out before he did so and he kept it in his hand.

"What is that?" Kurama asked raising an eyebrow and pointing. He couldn't quite see it clearly.

"Some beer. You want a swig?" Yusuke asked smiling. He thought that his cute little bad-boy smile would let him off the hook with Kurama but it only made Kurama want to discipline him more. Yusuke put the bottle to his lips and tilted it up. The liquid had just hit Yusuke's tongue when Kurama jumped at him and swiped it from him. Kurama began to poor it down the drain, but not without protest.

"HEY! What the FUCK, Kurama!"

"Shut up you sexy rebel." Kurama muttered under his breath.

"WHAT'D YOU SAY!" Yusuke said, not hearing Kurama at all but getting more and more argumentative as more and more of his precious beer was poured down the drain.

"Settle down, Yusuke. You know you shouldn't be drinking that. Genkai would have your head if you showed up for training tomorrow morning with a hangover. Actually there is no telling what she would _do_ to you –"

"There's no telling what _I'm_ going to _do_ to _you_, Kurama, for tossing my beer! …and … Do you know how _HARD_ IT WAS to get that! … I mean we are stuck here in demon world …"

"humph" Kurama smirked. He turned his head over his left shoulder to face Yusuke directly. He shrugged his left shoulder "I know what you want to do to me, Yusuke … and I'm well aware of how 'hard' it was … You've been dropping hints, Yusuke – don't think I've missed them."

Over the past few weeks at the tournament, Yusuke had been acting strangely. For instance, after he came back from training, he would take off his shirt and walk around the hotel apartment. His chest would always be glistening with sweat and whenever he was near Kurama, he would moan as though he was exhausted, but it sounded more sexy then strained. And if Kurama were on the couch or a chair, Yusuke would plop down next to him and get close - very close. He even put his arm behind Kurama sometimes and talked to him about all the work he had just done with Genkai, making sure Kurama's focus was on him … and his body. He would tell Kurama which specific muscle groups were hurting: his arms, his abs, his thighs, forcing Kurama to concentrate on those areas of his body … but Yusuke would always be sure to let Kurama know he could take the pain – and sometimes that he even liked it. Whenever Yusuke would take a shower he would roam around, wet, soaked through and through, in front of Kurama. Occasionally he even risked bending down. That short soaked towel was quite the intrigue – showing almost everything but leaving Kurama to realize if he wanted to see more, he would have to take the initiative. Once Yusuke even stole Kurama's reading glasses right off his nose and dared Kurama to case and catch him if Kurama wanted the glasses back. After Kurama had reminded Yusuke of all these playfully sexy incidences, Yusuke tugged at his collar and responded

"I knew you would figure it out, Kurama, being a genius and all, but I wasn't sure that you'd catch on to me so quickly … And yet you see _every_thing Kurama, especially what you _want_ to _see_."

When Yusuke said this, after he touched his collar, he slowly moved his hand down his chest, his stomach and delicately tucked his thumb into the waistband of his pants. He had tugged them down – ever so slightly – just enough so that Kurama could see his hip. That was it. It was over. Kurama had no control. He would give in and they would both get something they wanted – something they _needed_.

"Well, I have not seen everything I wanted to see …" Kurama said.

Kurama's eyes were locked with Yusuke's when he began, but now they were focused entirely on Yusuke's shaft. Kurama slid the index and middle fingers of his right hand into the top of Yusuke's pants and pulled him closer. Their hips were hard pressed against each other and Yusuke moaned slightly. He couldn't wait. It was coming. He would be coming. Soon both of their bodies were firmly fused together. Kurama had brought Yusuke's face up to his own and pushed his lips onto Yusuke's. Yusuke had no time to react before Kurama slipped his articulate tongue into Yusuke's mouth. Yusuke felt like he couldn't breathe out of shock and joy and pleasure. Kurama had actually caused him to take a step back because Kurama's force was so overwhelming. Kurama's eyes were open as he watched his uke's. (Seme on top, penetrator, in this case Kurama; uke on bottom, one being penetrated, Yusuke) Yusuke's were shut tight. Yusuke realized that he must exert all of his strength to compete with Kurama. Suddenly Yusuke straightened up. Much to Kurama's surprise, Yusuke pushed him off. Kurama stumbled backwards and wiped Yusuke's saliva from his lips.

"Oh so is that how you want to play?"

Kurama could not have been more pleased. He took a few more steps backwards as Yusuke began to advance on him. Kurama was a few steps from a wall when Yusuke launched himself at Kurama. He slammed his body and his tongue into Kurama. Yusuke might have had the upper hand at that moment but things would soon change – namely with the use of Kurama's hand. Kurama would not remain in second place in this game; he was intent on keeping command. Kurama quickly reached down and grabbed Yusuke's throbbing erection. He clutched it so swiftly and hard that Yusuke could not control himself. Yusuke screamed in a startled pleasure. It was exactly what he wanted. Kurama hurriedly covered Yusuke's mouth with his other hand and shushed him.

"Now baby, as much as I like to hear those noises we are out in the open. If we stay here, we may get caught. So let's go back to your room okay?"

Kurama took Yusuke by the hand and lead him to Urameshi's room. He needed to get him into a room – not just for privacy's sake but if Hiei caught them, it may ruin all the great strides Kurama had made with him. It could deter Hiei more. Besides, a bedroom has more … possibilities.

The way the hotel apartment was set up was when you walked in, you would walk into the living room. To the left would be the kitchen nook. On the right were four bedrooms, two large and two average. The two large rooms were separated by Kurama's and Kuwabara's rooms. The large rooms belonged to Yusuke (because after all it was "Team Urameshi") and Hiei (because who would want to argue with him? – if the little fire demon wants his space nobody had an argument). So from the front of the apartment to the back, the rooms went: Hiei - Kurama – Kuwabara – Yusuke. Luckily for Kurama and Yusuke, Kuwabara was out night-training and would not be back until early around 4:00a.m. That meant they only had to look out for Hiei who was too confused about his feelings for Kurama to care about some strange muffled noises from down the hall.

Kurama pulled Yusuke into the room and wasted no time. He plunged his hand into Yusuke's pants and began to stroke it gently. Kurama would not be gentle for long. Yusuke's back was pressed against a wall and he was facing the bed. He knew they'd be there soon. Kurama continued to kiss him as he slowly moved down Yusuke's neck. Kurama removed his hand to begin to unbutton Yusuke's shirt. The Spirit Detective moaned in displeasure.

"Aaaw, don't worry baby, my hand will be back there soon … and so will my tongue …"

Kurama now had Yusuke's shirt undone. Kurama had worked down past Yusuke's collarbone and began to play with his nipples. He put his mouth on one and squeezed the other. Kurama started by kissing it, then gently sucking it. Yusuke was breathing heavily and the slight glaze of his sweat tasted so good. Kurama noticed he was stifling a moan and trying to clutch at the wall because his legs had gotten weak. The rose demon wanted to make Yusuke admit just how much he liked Kurama's foreplay so he bit down hard on his nipple. Yusuke screamed again in pleasure.

"Good boy. I think you're ready."

Kurama bent lower leaving a trail of kisses down Yusuke's abdomen. Kurama was now face to face with the detective's erection separated only by the zipper of Urameshi's pants.

"Tell me now if you want me to stop. After this, I will not. If you were to tell me to stop, I would actually find it quite sexy and just do you harder." Kurama was smiling up at Yusuke. He was completely serious.

"I know this part of you wants me to keep going." Kurama said and he licked Yusuke's zipper.

"Well? I need an answer. 5, 4, 3, 2 …"

"Do it." Yusuke pushed the words out with a slight whimper.

"What?" Kurama had heard him but he wanted to hear it again. He wanted to hear it load and clear.

"Do it, Kurama! Do it now please!" Yusuke moaned.

"Good answer."

Kurama wasted no time and unzipped Yusuke's fly with his mouth. His teeth slowly tugged at it teasing Yusuke. Yusuke turned is head up. He couldn't look at Kurama anymore. He bit his bottom lip, shut his eyes and tried not to cum. Kurama stared at it intently. He licked the length of the shaft to test it. Yusuke's body shuddered greatly. Kurama looked up at him and realized his knees would give out soon and he would have to get Urameshi on the bed. Kurama stood and grazed Yusuke's erection as he rose up. He pressed his body on Yusuke's and whispered gently in his ear.

"Now it's time for the fun part."

Kurama gripped Yusuke's right arm, turned, and hurled him onto the bed. Yusuke landed on his stomach and looked back at Kurama. Yusuke almost landed on all-fours with his ass slightly up. Kurama put a knee up on the bed and chuckled.

"No, not that fun part …" Kurama flipped Yusuke over "I have to get you ready first."

The Spirit Detective was now leaning back on his hands, his knees up in the air and legs spread. He was still exposed. Kurama crawled closer at flicked his tongue at Yusuke. He approached Yusuke's shaft. Urameshi's legs were trembling with anticipation and he spread them wider so that Kurama could access him more easily. Yusuke could feel Kurama's breath tickling his shaft and Kurama looked up at him and laughed.

"Ready or not, here you cum."

Kurama thrust the shaft into his mouth unforgivingly. Yusuke cried out in alarm and drew back. His penis slipped out from between Kurama's lips.

"Okay, okay. I'll take it slower. Don't wimp out on me now, Yusuke, I would like to cum too." Kurama said aggravated. He saw the shocked look on Urameshi's face and didn't want him to run away – and he felt a bit guilty for scaring his little boy toy. He didn't want to break him before he could play.

"I'm sorry, Yuki." Kurama said endearingly "I'll be a good boy if you will."

Yusuke nodded eagerly. Kurama licked the length of it again and when he reached the head, he removed his tongue and asked

"Ready?"

"Yes – I'm sorry – I'll be good –"

"Perfect. Then scream my name really loud. You know I like that -"

Kurama began by sucking gently on the head. He rolled his tongue around it and received the gratification he sought. Yusuke's penis had begun to drip cum and he had started to moan softly. He tasted delicious – Kurama thought – and he wanted more. He plunged more of Yusuke's erection down his throat. The deeper it went into Kurama, the loader Yusuke moaned. Kurama's saliva was mixing with Yusuke's cum as the rose demon twirled his tongue around the shaft. He began to suck so hard that Yusuke felt his was sucking the life out of him. Holding back his orgasm was draining him of the energy he would need to survive when Kurama would actually go inside him.

"Ku – Ku – Kurama, I … I'm going to cum!"

Kurama laughed into Yusuke's penis and the vibrations sent Urameshi over the edge.

"Kurama!"

He ejected his juices directly into Kurama's mouth and Kurama drank them hungrily. Yusuke's arms could not hold him up any longer and he collapsed onto the bed. He was panting and shaking. Soon he felt Kurama's legs on the outside of his own and moaned. He looked up to see the rose demon kneeling over him. Kurama was smiling and licking his fingers and lips. Kurama placed his hands on either side of Yusuke's head, staring into his eyes, but kept his hips pressed on Yusuke's.

"Now didn't that feel good?"

Yusuke nodded.

"Do you want to cum again?"

Yusuke nodded. Kurama pumped his hips up and down dry humping Yusuke. Kurama was still fully covered.

"Do you want _me_ to make you cum?"

Yusuke nodded again.

"What was that?" Kurama taunted Yusuke. He loved teasing him.

Yusuke grabbed Kurama's waistband and pulled it down on his own shaft and opened the button of Kurama's pants.

"Fuck me." - was Yusuke's simple yet oh so effective response.

Kurama knelt up again and pulled his shirt over his head. His body was shining with sweat underneath his clothes. He shook his head to readjust his long gorgeous hair and tossed the shirt on the ground beside the bed. His legs were spread wide to encompass Yusuke's pelvis. Kurama began to tug at Yusuke's clothes – pulling his arms out of the sleeves of the opened shirt and pulling off Yusuke's pants. The pants had to be completely off to allow access to Yusuke's entrance and to make it easier to spread his legs. The Spirit Detective now lay naked between the demon's thighs. Yusuke's muscular body heaving to regain its breath before Kurama began. Kurama's eyes roamed over the powerful body he was about to penetrate and make one with his own. Kurama's eyes then locked with Yusuke's and he felt a sudden wave of guilt. Yusuke was a virgin, wasn't he? Well, he was at least a virgin when it came to having a male partner … right? Kurama didn't know.

"Yusuke – If you want to stop, I'll stop."

Kurama's eyes were full of an honest concern and a lustful desire. He still had not cum yet. Then, Yusuke shot up and his hand flew quickly to unzip Kurama's pants. There it was. Kurama's huge shaft fascinated Yusuke. He touched it. A noise shot up from Kurama's throat as he was not willing to let himself moan so easily. Yusuke bent down and liked the head of Kurama's penis but Kurama pushed him back. Kurama was done with foreplay; he wanted to enter Yusuke _now_. Yusuke understood it would be in his best interests to just do as Kurama wanted or he could get hurt. Yusuke had just lain back comfortably only to arch his back in pain. Kurama had inserted his index finger deep into Yusuke. Yusuke was moaning of pain and pleasure. As soon as Urameshi's cries began to subside, Kurama entered his middle finger as well and watched Yusuke's body squirm between his legs.

"Ow! Sadistic bastard!" Yusuke screamed in pain.

"Don't complain so much!" Kurama smiled. "This part of you isn't protesting –"

Kurama began to suck Yusuke's dick again and as soon as Yusuke moaned in pleasure, Kurama thrust his fingers deeper. Yusuke screamed and Kurama pulled out of him.

"I'm going to start Yuki. And you haven't been screaming my name much …" Kurama rubbed his shaft against Yusuke's sending chills of desire up his Yuki's spine.

"Be sure to scream my name okay?"

Yusuke felt Kurama at his entrance. Only the first syllable of his response was needed before Kurama drove himself into Yusuke.

"Ye – Aaaaaaaaaa!"

Tears filled in Yusuke's eyes as he tore at the sheets. He wrapped his legs around Kurama's waste as Kurama thrust in and out. The two bodies were intertwined – tongues dancing, saliva mixing, sweat dripping, cum pouring, moans assimilating into a song of burning lust and desire.

"Kurama – I have to cum again!" Yusuke panted.

"Don't cum just yet – I'm almost there. Wait for me like a good lover, so we can cum together …"

"I CAN'T! KURAMA - !"

The Spirit Detective exploded and further greased the two clashing bodies. Kurama was disappointed but he came soon after. He thrust fiercely and moaned

"…my turn."

He poured himself into Yusuke and then pulled out. Kurama knelt over his toy and gazed down at the combination of sweat and cum. It was sexy. It was so sexy. But that was just it – this, with Yusuke, was just _sex_. He did not just _make love _to Yusuke but he had _fucked_ him. He fucked him hard. Yusuke struggled to sit up and grab himself a cigarette. Kurama watched as Yusuke reached down and touched himself. He wiped off some of the cum from his penis and between his legs. He was examining it on his hands when Kurama grabbed Yusuke's wrist and sucked the cum off his fingers. Yusuke moaned again. Kurama put his hand on Yusuke's knee and slowly went upward.

"Good night." Kurama said and he gripped Yusuke's dick and brought him off by hand one more time before he left.

"You might want to smoke outside. It would not be pretty bad if the smoke alarm went off and you had to run outside naked and covered in cum. Everyone would believe you had one hell of a night alone with your right hand."

"Ha ha very funny. And what'll they say about you?"

"Me? Nobody would suspect a thing. The only evidence of my being here is what I poured into you and honestly I do not think there will be a mad rush to go up there and prove you right."

"Really? 'Cause you seemed to enjoy yourself pretty damn much. Maybe a few others are willing to give me a try." Yusuke smiled from behind his cigarette.

"Thank you for the lovely evening. I will come back if I get thirsty." And Kurama zipped up his pants, took his shirt and left.

Yusuke gathered enough strength to get up and put on a pair of pants. He waddled over to the patio to finish a few cigarettes. He couldn't walk very well but he thought Kurama was right. And anyway Kaiko was downstairs and he didn't want her to sprout and ego and think he was jacking-off to her so he smoked outside.

Kurama went back to his room to take another shower. He felt disgusting. He had sex out of _lust_ and not _love_. He rationalized that it was worth it though – he could maybe develop a casual sex relationship with Yusuke whenever they needed someone to be their right hand. This way, Kurama could try to stop lusting after Hiei and, more importantly, avoid loosing him as a friend. Or so he thought.


	4. Chapter 4 A Shattered Dream

**CHAPTER 4 -** _**A Shattered Dream**_

It was twenty after eleven when Yusuke finished up his cigarette. He drew in one last puff before he flicked the butt over the railing and closed the patio door. His legs were still shaking a little and he was exhausted. He was about to head to his room to settle in for the night when he hear a peculiar noise. It was coming from Hiei's room. The sounds were muffled so Yusuke waited at his door to see what they were. Soon he thought he heard someone moan "Kurama …" and he headed over to Hiei's room. He was wondering if he hadn't satisfied Kurama and that's why Kurama needed to seek out another partner. Yusuke also was curious to see if he could join in.

As Yusuke got closer, he could hear the rustling of sheets and labored breathing coming from inside. He pressed his ear up to the door and made sure that whoever was in there sounded busy before he opened the door. Yusuke turned the knob silently and carefully. The sight he beheld was not at all what he expected. Hiei was tossing and turning half under half on top of the sheets grunting and moaning. But he was alone and asleep. A devious smile spread on Yusuke's face as he entered the room eager to help Hiei in his sex dream. Yusuke closed the door and sat on the bed beside Hiei. Urameshi leaned in close to the little fire demon and whispered his name in his ear.

"Hiei…"

" … koo … koo" Hiei mumbled in his sleep.

Yusuke could not resist as he bent closer and licked Hiei's ear. Yusuke's tongue was still lolling outside of his mouth when Hiei spun around and kissed him. He was still asleep and madly driving his tongue into his dream lover – and unknowingly into Yusuke. Hiei fell away from Yusuke's lips and screamed, still sleeping,

"Touch me please!"

During this whole ordeal Yusuke had come to find that things just kept getting better and better. He watched as Hiei writhed beneath his hand as Yusuke made his way to Hiei's erection. Urameshi felt the sweat under his figure tips as he listened to Hiei pant. Yusuke examined the bed around Hiei and found that it was drenched with cum. Hiei's boxers were soaked and stuck to his body.

"He must've been fucking this guy for hours." Yusuke said as he clamped down on Hiei's dick.

Hiei moaned and Yusuke leaned in again to kiss him – he liked playing with Hiei. The kiss lasted until Hiei came. When Hiei reached his orgasm, he sat up and screamed

"Oh SHUICHI!"

Up until this point Yusuke did not know who Hiei's dream lover was – Yusuke had half a mind to think it was himself. Disappointed in Hiei for not appreciating how good he had just made Hiei feel, Yusuke squeezed Hiei's dick so hard it woke him up.

"Ooooh, ow. What … how … YUSUKE!" Hiei flew backwards, slamming himself into the headboard.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Hiei shrieked.

"I think the question is," Yusuke responded "_who_ the fuck do you think you're doing?" Urameshi smiled.

"What? What did you do to me? Why are you here!" Hiei pulled a sheet over himself. He was so ashamed and embarrassed that soon he thought he might cry.

"Well I thought you needed a right hand in your little wet dream and since Kurama wasn't available …"

"Shut up! This has nothing to do with him! This is only about you being a giant pervert!" Hiei was fighting back tears and tried to keep his voice from shaking.

"Oh I think this has _everything _to do with Kurama. You just came all over my hand – all over your bed – because you thought I was him. I think if you told him you want to fuck him, he'd do you. Your moans are really cute!" Yusuke licked Hiei's cheek. Hiei was sitting in the fetal position with his chin tucked behind his knees and arms crossed.

"Do – do you really think so?" Hiei turned his eyes to face Yusuke. Hiei would do anything for Kurama and he had to know he was good enough.

"Yea, I do." Yusuke lifted the sheet and trailed his hand up Hiei's leg. "And for a little guy, you're not small at all."

Yusuke's hand had reached Hiei's upper thigh when a punch came out of nowhere. The force of the hit threw Yusuke off the bed.

"What the hell? You didn't reject me like this before!"

Hiei had pulled his sword off the night table beside the bed and now had it pressed against Yusuke's throat.

"That's because I thought you were my lover not some whore!"

"Whore! Excuse me? Just because I fucked your little _lover_ –" Yusuke tried to get up but could not avoid being cut by the blade. Now it dug deeper into his neck and he had begun to bleed.

"You did what?" Hiei was furious his eyes focused hard on Yusuke. But all Yusuke needed to say was "yes" and Hiei would start bawling.

"I fucked him." Yusuke felt a sadistic gratification from telling Hiei that he had dirtied his pure dream lover.

"I fucked him _hard_. He loved it when I was dirty. He moans so loud and his cum tastes so good –"

"Stop it! You're lying!"

"He couldn't resist me. He was _begging_ me to touch him, to blow him, to make savage love to him -"

"Stop it! You're a dirty, lying sonuvabitch!" Tears were rolling down Hiei's cheeks and that only compelled Yusuke to lie and torture Hiei more.

"He wanted me to take him. He spread his legs first. He said out of all of his lovers that _I was the best he's ever had!_"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DIRTY COCK-SUCKING BASTARD!" Hiei slashed at Yusuke's throat but the cut was not deep. Hiei's vision was blurred with tears of despair and rage. …and if Yusuke truly made Kurama happy, Hiei did not want to make Kurama, his love, feel the same sadness he did over the loss of a soul mate.

"Actually, when I sucked Kurama's cock it wasn't so dirty. Ya see I showered with him before we –"

"GET OUT!" Hiei had lunged off the bad and was charging at Yusuke. Hiei's blade was headed directly for Yusuke's heart thinking he'd even the odds by tearing Yusuke's heart as Urameshi had torn his. Yusuke realized Hiei was serious with this death threat and made for the door. He had just slammed it behind him when the blade shot through. Hiei had forced his sword through the door and out the other side enough to sink half an inch into Yusuke's back. Hiei waited to hear Yusuke's wail of pain before he sank to the floor. He sat leaning his side against the door as he held his knees and sobbed into them.

"Was all that Yusuke said _true_? Did he really make love to Kurama … and … did Kurama really _enjoy_ it? Does Kurama just do it for pleasure, or love?" Hiei wondered to himself. "If he just does it just to … just to jack-off then – he's just as bad as Yusuke! That would make him just another creepy asshole sex-fiend pervert rapist. I thought he was different … I thought he wanted love. I guess I expected too much from him. They deserve each other – those two pervert rapist bastards. I hope they fuck each other's brains out and die. I don't care." Tears still cascaded down Hiei's cheeks. He looked down only to see his soaked boxers. He was so ashamed and thought himself so ridiculous for feeling abandoned. He flung his head upward, diverting his gaze from his appalling boxers, to see his sword still impaling the door from when he charged at Yusuke. All these things only made the loss of his love so real. Love. But was it love? Was that it? Is that what this is? …

"God damn it! Why did I have to fall in love with that bastard? That snobby, perverted, sadistic, sexy, brilliant, kind, sweet, caring sonuvabitch … why… how can I still love him? Why do I love him? Why? Why?" Hiei covered his ears with his hands trying to block out the sound of what he thought to be the truth – what he _knew_ to be the truth. He couldn't stand the idea of the romantic, sensitive man he fell in love with being corrupted by Yusuke and his dick. Hiei couldn't remove the picture of Yusuke and his beloved fucking and humping and moaning and cumming and … Hiei screamed.

"Why couldn't it've been me? If I would have slept with him he would have fallen in love with me! Is it too late? C-can he still … love me?"

Hiei was rocking himself back and forth. He shook himself enough to get on his feet. He stood up and walked to the bathroom. He stumbled and swayed on his way, but he made it. Hiei peeled off his drenched boxers and threw them out into his room. He stood in the bathroom, naked, and stabilized himself on the sink. He stared at his eyes in the mirror. They were red and blood-shot from crying. He wiped tears away with his palm but they made his hand slippery on the porcelain sink. His hand slipped and he almost fell. But he caught himself by putting his hand on his thigh. When he lifted it again, his hand was covered in his cum. He remembered his dream were Kurama made him cum over and over and over again … and how it felt so good and how they were so in love. His eyes were closed and a tear dripped down his cheek as cum dripped down his penis. He opened his eyes to see his red cheeks and eyes. Hiei was so ashamed that he still loved the man who just threw what he loved about him back in his face. Hiei balled up the hand that was covered in his cum and made like he was going to punch the mirror but stopped a quarter of an inch away and let his head drop into the mirror instead. He began to sob again. Hiei then pulled himself away and washed himself in the shower to get rid of the cum and tears.

Hiei threw on a fresh pair of boxers and went back into his room. He was cold, depressed and exhausted. It was late and Hiei was to upset to have the strength to search for the clean sheets, let alone to make his bed. He just took a blanket from the closet and went into the living room. He would sleep on the couch. Hiei felt more at home there – he was not sure why but it felt more open. It disturbed him that he was in the same sort of bed that Yusuke had … Kurama did … he said … they … well, Hiei didn't want to think about it. He also had to get out of that room were Yusuke came in and … oh, there were so many things Hiei wanted to forget. Besides, in his bedroom, he can sometimes hear Kurama move around – even make noises. Were those noises he heard the other night coming from Kurama's room … no, he was being ridiculous. He needed rest. Hiei opened the patio door to feel a gentle calming breeze. The cool air calmed his nerves and his hot cheeks and chilled the tears as he softly cried himself to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5 The End Before A Chance to Beg

hola! God, sorry everybody! I had no time to leave a little good-bye message before I set out for camp for eight weeks. I was really new to fan fiction and I didn't know that I could just insert a little author's note with one of my chapters … oh well, I know now! My camp was really old school and they didn't have any computers ( . ) so I couldn't update. But, there is a good side, I was able to get a hell of a lot of writing done. The middle of this story was **_SO HARD TO WRITE!_** I knew what I wanted to happen in the beginning and at the end but the middle … got really fuzzy … it's taken me forever to work it out! But now, I think I have it! … my roommate at camp actually read this part and said she didn't like it – I think it was because she likes happy endings. Rest assured though people, the story is far from over … I already have a sequel planned! Are you excited? I am! Also, I wanted to say thanks for all your awesome reviews – they made me so happy! Feel free to tell me what you want to see or what you think will happen! - hope you enjoy the next chapter …

CHAPTER 5 – THE END BEFORE A CHANCE TO BEGIN

thunk

Hiei awoke to the sound of metal vibrating after a heavy blow. He batted his eyes and almost fell back to sleep when a soft breeze rustled the curtain of the open patio door and carried the voice of someone outside.

"_Why did I do it?" _

Hiei sat on the couch and listened for the voice again. He felt drawn to it. He stared out at the glass doors leading to the patio and noticed someone's silhouette leaning over the banister. Suddenly the figure raised its arm and slammed a fist into the banister. That same thunk sound came again.

"So that's where it came from…"

Hiei pulled off his blanket and slowly made his way towards the patio, wearing only the boxers he had slept in the previous night. He was attracted to the silhouette's voice, although he did not yet recognize it. With each silent step he drew closer and heard more.

"_Why did I let myself succumb to my desires? It meant nothing to me but could have meant so much to him … I do not want to hurt him – I do not want to hurt either of them."_

Hiei stood beside the open door and a slight twitch of the curtain by the humble breeze allowed Hiei to recognize the voice and the figure. It was Kurama. Hiei just stared as the breeze chose whether he saw his love clearly or as a shadow cast upon the dancing curtain. Hiei watched and waited to hear what Kurama may say next, but the red head's thoughts were now confined within his mind as he thought to himself.

"Yusuke is not even the one I love. What I did with him is what I wished to do with Hiei. Now poor Yusuke might believe I have feelings for him outside of friendship – what am I saying? _Of course_ he thinks I must have feelings for him! But how do I tell him the truth … how do I tell Hiei the truth? Because of what I've done, _I may loose both of them._"

None of these words ever escaped from Kurama's lips but his body told of his mind's torment. His fists were clenched, back arched and muscles taught. He still leaned on the banister and stared down at the distant ground.

"I may have lost the one that I love," Kurama continued in his mind "but who do I love? Could love have been my sub-conscious motif for sleeping with Yusuke or was he just a replacement for Hiei? Was Yusuke just a vessel to store my tormenting lust until the one I truly cared for felt the same love for me? Why couldn't I stop myself? Why can I not seem to differentiate love from lust!"

"DAMN IT!" Kurama screamed and slammed his fist again. "How could I do such a thing…" Kurama continued aloud "…I can't believe I had sex with Yusuke."

"Oh so the human wasn't lying. And I thought I was special." Hiei emerged from his hidden position onto the patio. He calmly walked out and looked at Kurama.

"Hiei! I-" Kurama had jumped back. He was in shock. The rose demon's eyes were regretful and deep. The sun reflected the glaze of tears in Kurama's eyes. Hiei had been fighting back tears of his own but now his eyes began to fill with water even more. Hiei's lips had begun to quiver but he could not allow Kurama to see him – to see into him.

"Oh well." Hiei shrugged and turned his back on Kurama. Hiei crossed his arms to suppress his heaving chest. Hiei widened his eyes and appeared more angry and intense, although his main reason for doing so was to allow the sweet air to dry the tears from them. Kurama, though, appeared stunned and hurt.

"So you knew …"

"Oh of course! Your little lover-boy and I had a chat last night. He told me _everything_." Hiei said in a fake confidence. He was unwilling and unable to look at Kurama and kept his back to him.

"Hiei – you do not understand. It was all misplaced, I have feelings for _another_."

"I understand perfectly Kurama!" Hiei swung around and stared deeply into Kurama's tearing eyes.

"I understand everything! You just go around fucking whoever you feel like without caring about them! You draw them in with your goddamn flowers and sensitivity and friendship crap then you jam your cock up their ass and forget about them!" Kurama had taken a step back as Hiei advanced on him. Hiei had lost control and began to cry as he screamed at his love. Kurama wanted nothing more then to pull Hiei into his arms and hold him close and comfort him forever.

"You make me think you are everything I ever wanted and then just turn out to be another **_asshole_**!" Tears flowed from Hiei's eyes as his body shook and he flailed his arms with emphasis.

"_everything he ever wanted …_" Kurama thought and his eyes widened with this discovery of Hiei's true feelings. The guilt was unbearable.

"I can't believe you could just do that! I-" Hiei froze as a tear rolled delicately down Kurama's cheek.

"Hiei," Kurama began softly "please listen …"

"NO! I'm done listening to your and Yusuke's lies!" Hiei bawled. He turned to leave but Kurama grabbed his shoulder. His touch was delicate, soothing, and warm – exactly how Hiei had dreamed it would be.

Now was the moment of truth. Would Hiei stay and accept his love's faults or refuse to mend his wounds and leave his dreams behind – forever scarred? The consequences of his actions either by staying or going flashed in Hiei's mind in an instant, but he felt them both to be slow and painful. He could stay, hear Kurama out, and forever be under his spell – charmed by his eloquent tongue and pleasureful touch. He would live in Eden until Kurama would leave him and break his heart beyond repair, forever to reside in Hell. OR Hiei could walk out now and forever ask himself "What could have been?"

Hiei decided a life of ignorance of the truth was better then knowing the reality behind Kurama's facade of perfection. But … what if it wasn't a facade? Goddamn!

Stay or go? Stay or Go? **STAY OR GO?**


	6. Chapter 6 Realization

CHAPTER 6 – REALIZATION

Hiei wrenched his shoulder from benieth Kurama's grasp and walked away. Two more tears traveled down Kurama's cheeks that Hiei pretended to ignore. Kurama's hand hung mid-air where Hiei's shoulder was, now appearing to be reaching for him. Before Hiei turned away, he remarked to himself how the temperate breeze blew the rose demon's long red hair across his neck and shoulders. He was so gorgeous – he was a vision – Hiei was still so in love. But no – not with Shuichi Minimo, not with the flesh and blood and body, but the idea of _Kurama_. Hiei was in love with the dream Kurama was. Kurama was perfection – painfully attractive, unbelievably kind and truthful, where the deep-down reality of Shuichi was made ugly by his lies and lust. Hiei realized that he could not love a dream forever and he must move on. He should have known, he thought, that nothing as golden as love could last.

Kurama also knew it was over. He did not go after Hiei because he knew he would only press deeper into the wound. When Hiei had awoken and joined Kurama on the patio, Shuichi had planned to tell him everything but was so taken aback by Hiei's hatred the time never came.

" 'I have feelings for another' … 'I have feelings for another' …" Kurama repeated what he had said to Hiei.

"Why didn't I just say '_I have feelings for **you**_'? Why could I not say 'I love _you._ Yusuke meant _nothing_. I slept with him because I thought I could never have **you!**' "

Tears cascaded down Kurama's cheeks and fell on the banister and his clenched fists. He bowed his head and shut his eyes.

"It's over …" He thought to himself.

"We're over."


	7. Chapter 7 Expecting Someone Else

CHAPTER 7 – EXPECTING SOMEONE ELSE

Kurama and Hiei had both retreated back to their rooms, feeling it better that they were alone. They both thought of what was lost and what might have been, knowing nothing of the others feelings. They were both still very much in love but wrongfully convinced it was for naught.

The rose demon was sitting on his bed with his elbows on his knees and one fist on his cheek, supporting his head. His green eyes were glazed over with thought and the despair made them loose some of their shocking vibrance. He stared into space. Trying to make light of his situation, Kurama said to himself

"Well, at least I don't have to train today. …heh" Kurama pushed the air out of his nose in an attempt to laugh. It didn't work. He fell back on the bed, feet still on the floor with his legs bent; his back was straight as he laid flat. Kurama placed his hands behind his head and now gazed meaninglessly at the ceiling. He attempted to laugh again.

"Heh. Yea – My concentration is so off I would probably wind up whipping one of my teammates." He forced a smile "Who knows, if I whipped Hiei maybe he would have liked it." Kurama laughed a little and rolled over onto his stomach. "I guess I will never know." His joke was over and a tear fell from his cheek onto his folded arms.

"Any chance I had with him …" Kurama sighed "… is gone."

knock knock knock

Kurama jumped as the loud knocking at his door interrupted his silent thought. Kurama flew up and sat on the bed.

"C-come in"

Kurama's heart beat fast as the door was pushed open.

"Could it be him? What could he want?" He leaned forward to see his visitor sooner.

"Hi Kurama." Said Yusuke.

"Oh …" Kurama's heart sank "hello, Yusuke."

"Humph." Yusuke entered and closed the door. He walked towards the bed and Kurama – two things Yusuke had become quite accustomed to seeing together.

"You sound disappointed to see me."

"No, I-"

"Were you expecting someone else? Did you want to see if the little fire demon was a little fire ball in bed?" Yusuke sat on the bed, slowly leaning closer to Kurama.

"What?" Kurama laughed nervously. He began to blush. He shrank back but Yusuke moved closer.

"Last night was amazing…" Yusuke smiled "I think if we let the little guy in on what we got going on here, he might actually enjoy himself!"

Kurama's eyes widened with this new idea. He was hooked on Yusuke's words and sat stiff in anticipation of Urameshi's next brilliant proposal.

"Who knows? With your cock up his ass and my dick in his mouth I think we got ourselves a party."

Kurama's eyes were huge with excitement, the idea made him erect and he was barely breathing.

"That's a party I would very much like to attend …" Yusuke's hand pressed on Kurama's erection as the Spirit Detective began to plant kisses up Kurama's neck. Kurama was frozen in shock – he remembered only one other's touch made him freeze like this …

"We can have fun, just like last night …" Yusuke licked Kurama's ear and continued to whisper into it.

"Just tell me when and where, baby. Personally, I'm into the idea of a shower party … no clean up and no one would ever know …" Yusuke grabbed Kurama's shaft and began to massage it through his pants.

"A – a – a shower! …" Kurama said to himself.

"You seemed to like how steamy we got in there last time." Yusuke said.

Kurama flung his gaze straight into Yusuke's eyes, having not yet in this conversation made eye contact.

"It was you!" Kurama said. His mouth hung open, unable to close out of shock.

"Excited for round two?"

Yusuke pushed Kurama down on the bed and plunged his tongue into the rose demon's open mouth. Kurama pushed him off and said

"It was you! I knew it!"

"Nothing gets passed you …"

Yusuke forced Kurama down. Urameshi gripped the rose demon's wrists and pressed them into the bed on either side of his victim's head.

". . . and you won't get passed me."

Yusuke lay on top of Kurama and resumed the kiss.

"This doesn't feel right …" Kurama thought as his tongue was wrapped around Yusuke's. "…This isn't right – this isn't right!"


	8. Chapter 8 The Final Decision

CHAPTER 8 – THE FINAL DECISION

Hiei was huddled on his own bed with his pillow engulfing his head and crushing his ears – eliminating any audible sound. He had stripped the bed of all the sheets and covers. They were still wet from the night before and Hiei needed no reminders. He had been miserable, holding himself in such a way for about an hour. Although he had blocked out all outside noise, he was screaming in his mind.

"You made the right choice! Give up on that sonuvabitch!" he thought. But there was still a part of Hiei that loved Kurama and wanted to give him a second chance. His state of utter self-loathing and pity drove him into a temporary state of schizophrenia as he argued within - and with - himself.

"_You still love him …"_

"I do not! He's a liar!"

"_How did he lie? Couldn't Yusuke be the liar?"_

"What does it matter? They both lied to me and their both assholes!"

"_How did Kurama lie to us?"_

"He - he…" Hiei's angry, depressed and hateful side thought. "He lied to me with his eyes. He told me with his eyes that he loved me."

"_So why do you think that his tongue and his body and his soul would not want to admit the same?"_

"Because his body already admitted it to Yusuke!"

"_But what about his soul – his eyes are the window to his soul."_

"Shut up! I don't fucking care!"

"_How can you no longer care about someone you loved so much?"_

"Because he doesn't love me! He cares nothing for me! … But I …"

Hiei had made the most depressing and ghastly of realizations and in his shattered mental state, he was more then willing to act on it.

"I lived and breathed for him. I went on with each day **for him** … and now …" Hiei threw off the pillow and grabbed his sword off the nightstand beside his bed.

**"And now I have nothing to live for!"**

Hiei knelt on his bed holding his sword in front of his heart.

"No…" he thought "Shuichi has already broken my heart. If I were to stab there, I would just continue to live in agony. There is nothing to destroy – he has already fatally wounded me."

Hiei lifted the blade and positioned it to sear through his throat. A tear trickled down his cheek as he said his last words.

"**_I have nothing to live for."_**


	9. Chapter 9 Do You Swear To Tell The Truth

CHAPTER 9 – DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH ...

"_Get off of me!"_

"What was that?"

Hiei stopped. The blade was poised at his throat.

"_I told you to get off of me!"_

"I-it's Kurama …" Another tear rolled down his cheeks, his chin and then dripped onto his sword.

"_What's wrong, baby? Would you prefer to be on top?"_

"Oh God it's Yusuke! They're going to make love again! I can't listen -" Hiei pulled the fatal blade back so that he may impale his throat with greater force.

"_No, I want you to leave, Yusuke."_

"What? What are they doing?" Hiei thought.

He knelt frozen, with his back to the dividing wall, absorbed in the conversation going on in the next room. He sounds of their voices were muffled but still audible through the thin wall.

"_What do you mean? Do you **have** to be on top or something? You didn't ask me to leave when I was the dominant one in the shower."_

Hiei had drawn the blade closer unwilling to listen but Kurama's next words froze him.

"_I did not want that! You practically **raped** me in the shower! I was in shock, I could not move!"_

"_Well you liked it."_

"_I only liked it –" _Kurama's voice had risen to a yell_ "- because I thought you were someone else!"_

Hiei turned his head swiftly to the thin wall that separated the rooms. The tip of the sword was so close to him that in turning his head, Hiei had cut a thin slit in his neck. It was not deep or fatal but blood began to drip from it. Hiei dropped his sword, neglecting to recognize his wound, and went to the wall through which the voices passed. He must know – was it all lies?

"_Who? You, Kurama, forced yourself upon **me**. You **fucked me**. Who else could you want?"_

There was a long pause in which Hiei pressed his ear so hard into the wall that he could almost hear Yusuke and Kurama breathing.

"_Oh"_ Yusuke's voice sounded hurt _"You want Hiei."_

Hiei gripped the wall for support as his legs trembled. His bloodshot eyes widened and his tears softly escaped from them.

"_Yusuke…"_ Kurama began _"I am so sorry. I only had sex with you because I wanted Hiei so badly – I could not control myself. I never wanted to hurt you. I am so sorry."_

Yusuke did not respond. Kurama continued.

"_I do like you Yusuke, and I love and respect you as a teammate and friend. You are young, Yusuke – and Kaiko loves you very much. But what I did … was wrong. What I did, was out of **lust** not **love**."_

Kurama's voice was soothing and apologetic. He sounded truly sincere and desiring of forgiveness. There was a silence in both rooms. It was all coming to light.

"He does love me … I was just too stupid, too blind to see it. He wants me, he cares about me … **he loves me!**" Hiei thought.

"…I told you, you stubborn bastard." Hiei's loving side that defended Kurama in Hiei's schizophrenic argument blurted out.

Hiei's jubilant reaction was soon interrupted by Yusuke's angry response to Kurama's words.

"_Fine asshole. Go fuck your little midget bitch but when he fails to satisfy you like I did, you're gonna hafta beg. You're gonna get tired of him and come crawling back to me, begging me to fuck you."_ Yusuke's voice was controlled but filled with malice and regret.

"_But last time I checked,"_ Kurama retorted _"I fucked you."_

Hiei heard footsteps and then Yusuke's voice.

"_Go to hell, faget."_

The door slammed behind him as Yusuke retreated to his room.

"He was a good ride" Yusuke thought "but he's right, I'm young, I'm strong, and I'm a bad ass. I can fuck anyone I want." He turned the knob and pushed the door open to his room.Yusuke stared at his empty bed.

"…but why am I so upset…that I can't have Kurama?"

Hiei's knees finally gave out and he dropped to the floor.

"Wa – What do I do? I can't just – but he – they… My God what do I do?" Hiei was so confused. He wanted to be with Kurama but… could he? Hiei had always wondered what others would think about him; he did have a vicious reputation to defend. He always thought of love as the weakest, most childish of all emotions. But now, in finding love, Hiei has seen it to be the most powerful source of strength and determination known to man – or demon. It had driven him out of his solitary, murderous and blood-thirsty mindset – killing for pleasure and fun – into a soldier for a better cause, only bringing about death so that there may be life. That was what this tournament was about to him and his team. This was why he was here. For love.

Hiei realized that he no longer wanted to be alone. He just wanted Kurama – and for them to live out the rest of their lives together. But would Kurama have him after all this?

"It's worth a damn good shot …" Hiei said and walked out into the hallway.

_hi guys! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! …and I think you all will really enjoy the next one too! (hee hee hee) this is certainly not the end of my story – it is one of the last chapters but I have a sequel planned … if you guys are interested …- there's going to be a major surprise and turning point in the last chapter so you might want to stay tuned! Thanks so much for reading, I really appreciate it and hope you found my story interesting, but it might be a while before I upload a new chapter-school starts on Tuesday for mesigh… Ooo- also, within the next chapter or so, the meaning behind my seemingly weird title will be revealed! – you may still find it weird but at least it'll make a little more sense:)_


	10. Chapter 10ish There Is Hope

Hey everyone! I know I'm not really supposed to do this but I felt it necessary to tell all you loyal viewers who continue to post reviews that I **WILL** finish this fic! I have just been swamped with school and life … for the past year or so … Anywhoo – check back maybe around Christmas because I'll be over my best friend's house and I'll write it there. Trust me; I do intend to finish this because no story is worth the time without an ending! And it will be a good one too! …Or I hope you all will think it is – I can tell you that the title will be explained, at least, and there will be sweet, gushy, romantic, love. And sex of course – what did my not mentioning it scare you? Of course there will be sex silly! Thanks so much for all your comments and patience. They are all greatly appreciated! So check back in a few weeks and see what will unfold – or unzip … same difference. -


	11. Chapter 10 Lost And Found

CHAPTER 10 - LOST AND FOUND

Kurama watched as Yusuke's fist tightly clenched the doorknob before he slammed it shut behind him. Kurama sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. He put his elbows on his knees and lowered his face to fall between his awaiting hands. He let his head slowly slip between them until his fingers ran through his long sensual hair and met at the nape of his neck. Kurama breathed heavily and listened for the sound of his heartbeat, but he heard nothing. He rose from the bed and let his hands drop numbly to his sides. He walked a few paces to the wall – having nowhere else to go – and then turned to face the bed. At the sight of the sheets in disarray and the memory of the mortal sin he had committed – all the pain his lust had caused – Kurama collapsed. Falling first to his knees and then forward upon his hands, his head drooped in between his shoulders. He closed his eyes forcefully, unwilling to see all the damage he had caused. He refrained from breathing and clenched his teeth. His abdominal muscles contracted and his spine went rigid. His muscles could not hold this pose and his body began to tremble. He finally released the air within his lungs when he opened his eyes and whispered to the floor

"I've lost both of them…"

Kurama sank to a heap on the carpet. He rolled over onto his side and stared at the door, his beautiful hair splayed around him.

"I was so weak … I could not control myself. And this whole thing could have been avoided if I would have just told Hiei how I felt. Now they are both lost to me …" Kurama closed his eyes and wondered why he was not crying, "… human or demon – it does not matter. They are both so frail and so swayed by emotions. I am both and I am neither. The blood of both species runs through my veins but I have only received the basic parts of each … I can function, I can breathe, but I can no longer feel. Both sides were battling for dominance over me and both have failed – I am now just an empty vessel…" Kurama rose torpidly from the floor seeming to exert no energy or life. His once luminous eyes gazed dully and blankly at the wall.

"…the love of the human and the lust of the demon have conquered me – and each other." Kurama glanced down at his hand, clenched it into a fist, and gave a weak smile "I am but a walking shadow …"

Kurama turned towards his bed and pulled his shirt over his head. He desired nothing more then to just go to sleep – and possibly to never wake up again. He knew the damage he had done was unforgivable, he would be the first to admit it. After lifting the sheet and the comforter, he turned out the light. Kurama rolled onto his side and stared into the darkness.

"I am so sorry …" His heavy eyelids sank and closed.

A cold breeze accompanied by a low creak roused Kurama.

"What was that?" he asked himself sleepily. He let his muted eyes roam the darkness before he fell back asleep.

The noise came again, louder, and Kurama quickly sat up in his bed. The bedding fell onto his lap as he nervously gazed around. Kurama reached for the lamp on the nightstand beside the bed. A pair of eyes flashed an instant before light flooded the room. The eyes belonged to Hiei.

Hiei stood in front of the door, directly in front of Kurama. He was dressed in his usual black robe and had his arms irately folded across his chest. Kurama's eyes grew vivid again and nearly burst into tears.

"I-is he here to kill me?" Kurama thought. "I don't blame him – I deserve it." Kurama's face sank from shock to despair.

"What are you so sad about?" Hiei smirked.

"Hmp…" Kurama turned his face away and half smiled.

"I thought you would be happy – you have two people madly in love with you."

"Not any more."

"Why are you so sure?"

Kurama's gaze flashed up at him. Kurama thought he was serious for a moment but then weakly smiled again. "Because I was not thinking –"

Hiei flashed from ten feet in front of Kurama to the right side of the bed.

"But you always over think everything. You're supposed to be the genius. You've gone up against some of the most brilliant and cunning beings ever produced and you were beaten by an emotion." Kurama turned his head to the left to avoid Hiei's harsh and prying words. Hiei flashed in front of the red head's gaze.

"Pathetic."

"Well, at least I am not the only one. The most powerful demon I ever knew failed to conquer the very same emotion I myself succumbed to. He does not know that I discovered his secret. He may be a blood-thirsty bandit but he loved me at one point … maybe even as much as I loved him." Kurama searched Hiei's eyes and then scrolled down his body until he caught sight of Hiei's sword. In the next instant, Hiei had unsheathed it and broken the lamp – plunging them both in darkness.

Kurama felt Hiei's knees on the bed. They rested on either side of his own knees. He sat silently and waited for the inevitable, soon felling Hiei's breath on his cheek.

"No – I think the bandit loved you more than you could ever know …" a tear cascaded down Kurama's cheek – he was suddenly able to feel, but this was not the emotion he had hoped for. "…I think that he still loves you…"

Kurama's eyes widened and his lips parted as though beginning to speak, but they were soon met by his bandit's lips. Hiei's hands fell gently on Kurama's and Kurama realized that it was not the end. He began to give into the kiss – Kurama slid his tongue between Hiei's soft lips. Soon his bandit returned the favor. After a minute or so, Hiei pulled back and lifted Kurama's right hand within his own. Kurama could not see Hiei, but soon felt Hiei's lips caress his hand. Then Hiei pulled Kurama's hand down and towards him. Kurama could feel Hiei's robe being pushed up by his hand. Hiei guided Kurama's hand upward between his aching thighs. Kurama soon felt Hiei's flesh.

"Hiei …?"

Hiei's hand was trembling – as was Kurama's now that Hiei had led their hands all the way up to his erection. Kurama's index finger felt Hiei's warmth and just how hard he was. Kurama's eyes widened and he wrenched his hand from Hiei's. Kurama felt something dripping down his finger – it was a tiny bit of the bandit's cum.

"Hiei, I know you're straight. I am sorry I kept hitting on you. I do not want this to happen just because you feel like you need to be touched … I want – I do not want you to regret this for the rest of your life …" Kurama looked mournfully ahead, now able to see Hiei. Hiei locked his eyes onto Kurama's and remained there – unwavering – as he revealed his true feelings:

"No, Shuichi. I don't just want to have sex – I want to make love to you … I need you, Kurama. I always have. I just was never willing, or able, to admit it."

Kurama lunged forward and locked his mouth upon Hiei's clutching him close. He wrapped his arms around Hiei, embracing him - never wishing to let him go again.


End file.
